Well. It's been forever and a day since i've been on this thing...does anyone still come here??? i dunno..i just suddenly got the urge to come on here and write. so here we go: Life has been a tad bit on the upside as of late. church as aways has been looking good for me. on suday i took oath(thank God) for Auditor. my first office in a year and i must say from the moment i walked in the sactuary i could feel Him.tears poured from my eyes. listening to the intermisson hymns and thinking about about where my lifes been in the past year. with love, life, family and the ups and downs, it really meant something to me. that i was given and blessed with another opportunity. an opportunity to show Him that i really do value what ive know from early childhood. that i am in the true church. so to that i say thank you.. so of course with lifes ups, there are going to be downs. i started this year happy knowing that 2007 would be a different year. YEAR OF THE PIG. chinese new year. MY YEAR for change, and happiness, new adventures, new friendships and maybe something more... at the end of last year and the beginning of this year, my love for a certain someone had finally paid off. that she had realized that my care for her was real. a care that would only grow into a life long relationship as friends and maybe something more...and now 5 months have past and with the year almost at the mid point, i feel that ive lost an 6-7 year relationship, over something artificial... nothing i say or do can change how i feel about this person, ive helped her though the good times and many of the bad. i feel as though everything i say to rekindle it, to turn a new leaf is not working. if she only knew that those around her were really like! FAKE! its a waiting game now..but my feelings, my heart still aches... work has been the same. though i am at a new position, sometimes i feel that i wouild like for life to be easier, not so complicated! having to get up at 6AM every morning and comute to my daily Routien. being able to be at home lounge and be LAZY! but thats not me...so to that i say.. IM TIRED...i need a vacation... i dont know what to write anymore...i pray that the remaining 6 months of this year bring change to my life. change me into the best into the man that i can be...i hope that i find what it is i'm looking for...the "meaning of my existance" haha...oh well till then i'm patient...and keep doing what i do...take care cuz i care everyone... Brian | 
